Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
