I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
