if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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