i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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