his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
