were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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