After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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