Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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