he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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