apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
