It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
