went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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