it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
