I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
