its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
