Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
