omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
