WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
