I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I believe in your delicious
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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