Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
