dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
