Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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