I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
