Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
