I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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