the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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