My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
