playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
