And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
