Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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