The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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