38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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