Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
