She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
