I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
