I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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