why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
