I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
smell my finger.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
