one two three fourrrrnication!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
