My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
