it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
