Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
now i know why i became what i already was.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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