Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
