Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
