Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
