So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We got so high we made milksteak
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
