Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
