I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think people are normalizing furries
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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