I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize