Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
