Kiss
Puke
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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