24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
