Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
